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By Courtney Warren
Let me tell you how evil the Evil Queen is. For spring break, my family made the long drive to Disney World. We stayed the entire week and rode roller coasters, woke up at the crack of dawn to get lightning lanes, saw princesses, and even saw one villain - the last villain we will ever see.
Berit is six years old, and she is very tender-hearted, something I’m honestly very proud of. She is nurtured, encouraged to use her imagination, and always taught to lead with kindness. She is a kind little girl. No one has ever broken her heart. So, I should have known better.
We secured a coveted dinner at Artist’s Pointe at the Wilderness Lodge resort, which meant we got to eat dinner in Snow White’s forest. Snow White and the dwarves danced between the tables, visiting guests under twinkling lights woven throughout the tree branches above our heads.
Earlier in the day, Berit had gotten a makeover to look like Snow White. She wore a heavy red and gold gown, and her hair was up and done in a perfect bun, complete with a matching princess crown. I was surprised she chose Snow White, expecting her to go for Elsa. She was adamant that she wanted to be Snow White.
That night at dinner, Snow White stepped to our table and was thrilled to see Berit’s dress. They chatted, they danced a bit, and she promised Berit they would play a trick on Grumpy later, since they looked so much alike.
The Evil Queen was also at this dinner, but you had to be invited up to see her where she stood by an oversized story book. When it was our turn, I asked Berit if she wanted to go see the Evil Queen, and she said absolutely!
When we got there, she was immediately shy. The Evil Queen picked up on this and laughed at her fear. She said she didn’t like her hair bow. She didn’t like her Snow White dress. I get that – Berit was dressed as the Evil Queen’s enemy.
But then she asked Berit her name.
Berit mumbled, “My name is Berit.”
Now, some backstory is needed here. Berit is very proud of her name. She loves to tell people what her name is and what it means. Berit is a Hebrew word meaning “covenant,” and I learned about it as I studied the Isrealites making a berit (pronounced bah-reet) with God as they dedicated their first born children to do wonderful things for Him. While we call her Berit (pronounced bear-it), she knows what her name means and that it was chosen for her with all of the care and consideration her parents could give.
Berit was nervous to talk to the Evil Queen, but, when she was asked this question, I saw her perk up. She said “Berit.”
The Evil Queen snorted with disgust and said “what an unfortunate name.”
Berit’s head fell. She stared at the floor. My mouth dropped open as I stared. I understand the importance of staying in character when employed by Disney, but I can think of about a million other responses that would have kept her in character.
“At least it’s not Snow White.”
“It would be even better if it were ‘Evil Queen,’ but there can only be one, can’t there?”
Anything. Anything would have been better!
Berit is not a baby anymore. She pays attention to what people say, and she replays the words later as she asks questions. This was something that stuck with her the rest of the trip.
It really got to me as I watched her face fall in that moment. I watched her heart break. For the rest of the meal, she whispered to me about the Evil Queen and how she didn’t understand why she didn’t like Berit’s special name. How could she say something like that?
Part of me wonders - if that actress knew how Berit felt, would she have said something to her? Would she have taken it back? Would she have apologized? Would it have worked?
Apologies have always been really important at my house. We have been taught to say we are sorry and what we are sorry for, even if the other party refuses to apologize or own up to their mistake. Something that in itself can lead to heartbreak, but it really drives home that idea that our words matter.
I apologize even when I’m not heard, even when I know I’ll be ignored. Because even if you don’t think you’re wrong or even if you’re in character, you still hurt someone. We weren’t created to hurt others. The good guys are supposed to win, and, for the good guys to win, they have to own when they aren’t being good guys.
This was a great opportunity to listen to Berit and reassure her that her name does matter, and sometimes people say mean things for no reason. She was shocked! And, honestly, I’m kind of glad that she was. It means she doesn’t expect the worst in people. She walked up to the Evil Queen, whose first name is “evil,” and expected kindness.
I’ll protect that part of her heart for as long as I possibly can. She sees the good - even when someone’s name literally means bad.
As she continues to bring up that moment, I’m going to continue to remind her that the good guys win. That kindness, forgiveness, and love win.
Will the Evil Queen ever apologize for being a complete jerk to my sweet Snow White?
Nope.
But she does die at the end of her movie. So there’s that.
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