CoffeeTime: WISHING YOU WERE A DIFFERENT YOU

Ever had the experience of wishing you were just… a little bit different you? Maybe a thousand or so various times in your life? Then in that respect, you are like a lot of people. Because that is a trait that most members of this two-legged species have in common.  Wishing we were just a little different than we are.

You watch someone so at ease with others and find yourself wistfully thinking, “I wish I could be that at home around people.” But you’re the kind of personality that feels a little awkward socially. When forced into a situation where extended interaction using witty small talk is almost a must, you find yourself looking for an escape. Preferably a business-related phone call that forces you to have to leave, or at the least, a sudden attack of appendicitis that calls for an emergency exit. Anything will suffice, if it can get you out of there.

Or, maybe you are that gregarious charmer who is good friends with everyone on the block, but deep down you envy the guy whose phone always rings when someone needs truly trusted advice. The one that the neighborhood always wants as their leader when serious situations arise.

Wanting to be different than you are. Pretty common occurrence.

The beloved, committed, gentle caregiver envies the naturally attention-grabbing entertainer of the group. The tranquil peace-maker longs for the outspoken ability of the strong, leadership type.  The scatter-brained life of the party privately would like to be more of a calm, efficient person – that someone who has all the bills paid three weeks ahead of time, whose future seems spot-on, whose kids are all well-adjusted and happy, and whose spouse obviously believes in sky-high pedestals.

On and on it goes.

Why do we do that? I believe that many times our own value is pretty hazy to us. So easy to spot the strong suit of someone around us who can easily do what we struggle to accomplish. Much harder to look at ourself and enjoy who we are – warts and all. And that is the problem. We see all of ourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And unfortunately, we have the tendency to highlight the ugly. While we are busy contrasting ourself to the attractive traits in people who are naturally and effortlessly what we are…ummm…not.

My answer to this problem in life? Accept that your Creator made you just who He wanted you to be – warts and all.  But also know that He will be working to refine you with the passing of time.

Quiet? Learn to embrace it, because others envy you your outer calm. Kinda instinctively bossy and not very charming? Admit it, and decide to use it for good. Basically energetic, noisy, and irrepressible? Accept it, and vow to control and define how you use those traits.

Learn to be the best YOU there is, because we need you.