CoffeeTime: “BET YOU’VE ALREADY BLOWN IT”

Were you one of us who made yourself a promise or a vow for the new year? And then look up, and it is six days into 2023 and you’ve already blown it? Or maybe, you’re one of those people who know themselves well enough that you didn’t even bother wasting brain power on considering making a new year's resolution. “Why bother? I won’t make it past eight in the morning of January 1 before I decide it’s not worth it.”

If you have ever bolstered your courage and guilted yourself into making a New Year’s resolution, you won’t be the first to find this next sentence to be true. Whatever it is you decided to do, to avoid, to tackle, or to never do again…the need to do ‘that very thing’ probably became the focal point of your immediately-and-obsessively-focused brain.  Every conversation, every dream, every thought, every song, every show – each and every one of them had a way of leading you to want to toss your resolution into the trash dump.

Just like the old childhood game, when someone told you that for the next sixty seconds, you were not to think about a glass of water, or a phone, or any other item that they named. You immediately had a problem. No matter how hard you tried, that exact thing became front and center of your thoughts about every seven seconds.

Doesn’t seem to matter what your resolution is about. Weight, alcohol, drugs, sex, sweets, worry, anxiety. You name it, there just seems to be a built-in rebellion in humans when it comes to controlling our reaction to issued-laden behaviors.

“I know, I know, I promised myself that this coming new year, I would definitely kick my bad habit. But who am I kidding? I never have been able to make myself do that, every year that I’ve tried. So, to save time, I’m just gonna drop off the wagon before January 1 gets here. After all, there’s a lot of other good stuff I can be concentratin’ on, if I just go ahead and dive off head first now, so here goes.”

So, what are you supposed to do, when you know good and well that you need to accomplish a certain goal, and yet it’s the exact opposite of your natural tendency?

Don’t even try to ask me. I’m human. Just like you. I don’t have the answers.

But I do believe this to be true. If you are going to be successful, it has to come from a deep heart belief that will make you want to change from following your natural tendencies. A heart belief that will lead you to say “No, I won’t, not this time. Because I am worth it.”  And that heart belief keeps you saying those words to yourself, until you have control over those harmful tendencies, and you’ve created new habits.

Wanting won’t cut it. But we all already know that.