CoffeeTime: “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL ‘REAL’ FATHERS”

Father’s Day has rolled around again. Hmmm…do I write about the importance of Dad in every kid’s life? Giving every daddy-loved adult who reads this the warm fuzzies as they relive and remember how Dad was present and accounted for, as they grew up? But pour boiling oil in the gaping wound of every reader out there whose dad was in the wind during their growing-up years?

Do I run the high risk of bringing back to the surface all the pain and resentment of many who were ignored, or outright physically abused? While I am attempting to bring joy and the warmth of great memories to those who were fortunate enough to have a loving, attentive dad at home and involved in their life?

Because folks, my quandary is extremely real today. Way too many baby makers – I refuse to call them dads or fathers – have made their pitch, made their deposit, and made their escape. Despicable, damning behavior on the part of those particular males who invariably like to boast, “*&#@ yeah, I’m a man!”

I beg to differ with every fiber in my body. No real MAN walks away from his responsibility after his ‘deposit’ has created a life. He accepts that he, and only he, has been party to that baby being brought to this earth. Therefore he - and only he - should step up, man up, and shoulder that responsibility. It is his duty to provide love, financial stability, and emotional security for that child. To be a real daddy.

No excuses should be accepted. If you are scared of commitment or simply don’t know how to love, then you better start learning.  I am sick of “Remember, he never could hold a job, so somebody else will have to take over,” or “It’s not his fault, he never had a role model to show him how to be a daddy,” or the tired and worn out “Ya just don’t understand, I have a drug problem, no way can I take on bein’ a daddy!”  Guys, unless you are a true mental imbecile, who created a life and yet has no mental capacity to think and to love, then you are responsible for that baby. You need to be there for your child.

Do you find yourself being offended while reading this article? Then I submit to you that you are part of the problem. If you can actually defend a functioning male who has deliberately walked away from his child and refused to be the daddy that child needs in life, then you are an enabler. An enabler is someone who physically, mentally, or emotionally aids someone else to shirk their responsibilities in life.

Whether you are a well-meaning social worker, a relative, or a neighbor who condones this ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type of behavior, I believe you are wrong. And your actions are helping to cause long-term emotional damage to a defenseless child.